The ‘carouselling’ trend is killing the first date for Gen Z – here’s how to keep the chemistry going: expert

Dating in the age of social media can be a vicious circle.

Carouselling is the latest bad game to be called in the dating game. Some singles are being accused of being caught between their tireless scrolling and swiping on dating apps, chatting with matches for weeks or months with no immediate intention of meeting in real life.

One dating expert claims that this habit has led to a lot of second thoughts and fueled anxiety, especially among those just entering the dating pool: General Z.

Tina Wilson, New York-based relationship expert and founder of dating app Wingman, describes it as “the feeling of being stuck in an endless loop of messages before meeting a match on a dating app,” she said. for the Daily Mail.

“For Gen Z, carouseling is more about burning through dating apps, where they feel overwhelmed by too many choices, leading to constant messaging out of fear that something better is always around the corner,” Wilson explained. , adding that psychology flows. from a “construction of expectations and uncertainty”.

“Prolonged anticipation can create unrealistic expectations, overthinking and pressures on both parties, which, once triggered, can make it very difficult for them to meet in person,” Wilson said. “Unknowns become redundant and it’s over before it even started.”

Wilson also attributes this cycle to the “lack of nonverbal cues” in online dating.

“There’s a lot of smoke and mirrors, and pressure to impress or present a version of yourself that you want others to see, reflecting an online profile of perfectionism,” she noted. “But that’s not true, so, especially with Gen Z or people who live and breathe social media, that culture just breeds frustration.”

To combat this, Wilson suggests getting off the “carousel” cycle as soon as possible—but she also cautions against dating a match too soon, as that can bring other risks.

“There’s also an unspoken pressure to meet someone right away, but that’s not necessarily the answer and can cause other problems if you end up dating someone who isn’t right for you,” she advised.

“I wouldn’t necessarily advise pushing yourself to meet someone in person sooner than you feel ready just because you’re worried about getting stuck on the carousel. So what’s right for you.”

If you find yourself in a “carousel” and don’t know how to get out of it, Wilson shared five tips with the Daily Mail to break the cycle and make dating “fun” again:

1. Let your friends help you. “If a friend can help match you with someone and do the presentation, it automatically reduces the pressure on both friends.”
2. Be honest online. “Let’s face it, we’re all doing a little digging on potential dates online, so what are you putting out there? Be as authentic as possible.”
3. Try Facetime first. “Not only can you appreciate the things you have in common by doing this, but you’re also in the comfort of your own home, which will help reduce the thought cycle dramatically.”
4. Remember that nerves are normal. “Dating and meeting new people can naturally create nervous feelings in us, but remember, this is a normal process. It’s normal to have a little nervous energy, so remind yourself of that fact.”
5. Be intentional with your time. “You’ll have a more positive mindset as well as a healthier approach if you set aside dedicated time for online dating or communication with a potential match.”